Personal Freedom

Lately I've been thinking about how we hinder ourselves in achieving happiness and freedom. What exactly do I want to be free from; debt, stress, chores, pain, obligations? As I've sat going through job listings, writing cover letters, and mailing out resumés I've wondered if I'm doing the right thing. What if I was just being naive in choosing to leave Boston on some wanderlust adventure? There have been moments here where I felt like I'm still stuck in this strange stand still. As though the world continues to move while I'm just sitting. But then again I recognize how hard it is for me to take a moment and relax some times because I'm always moving on to the next responsibility or task. When I stop and think about where I was just one year ago I can recall the weight I felt upon my shoulders. I was on the last leg of the race towards completing my M.Ed. program at UMass Boston. I was running at full steam putting the final touches on my capstone paper and powerpoint presentation. Upon further reflection I realize that until just recently I had been running full steam since I began my master's program back in 2010.

At the moment I find myself going back and forth. Sometimes I can easily relax and unwind while other times I feel a deep sense of discomfort in not being in control here. The tension in waiting for a call back or email to schedule a potential interview that might not even amount to anything is something I'm not unfamiliar with. I am totally cognizant of the fact that I have only been here for just over a month, but at the same time my inner Mass-hole is screaming at me to get things moving in some way. I can hear the voice in the back of my head telling me I'm not doing enough, or that I should be doing more, but what is it I should be doing? Should I even listen to that guy, I mean he's kind of an asshole yelling at me like that right?

There's a small part of me that has been thinking I could easily just turn around go home, and return to the familiarities that I know so well. But, I wonder why these thoughts arise. When I reflect upon my current situation it is perfectly clear that there is nothing wrong with me or where I am at in my life. Sometimes I ask myself where these thoughts and emotions come from, or what is the underlying cause behind them? What are they grounded in? Most of them seem to lose their foundation once that happens. As I thought more about this transition I've made half way across the world I noticed my mind putting it into some form of understanding. I began to see this situation in the format of DJ'ing. It's like the transition from one record to the next. As the outgoing record is coming to an end in the mix the incoming record is building up. Although they are two separate songs they become deeply intertwined in the mix. Sometimes these mixes or transitions are short and fast, while others can be long and ride out for quite some time. So as my time in Boston has come to an end for now I hope that my time in Hawaii isn't too short lived so that I can continue to learn and explore this amazing place.

*Photos: First one is from a trip to Iao Valley State Park the other day, and the tall rock is the Iao Needle. 2nd pic is sunset on front Street by the Banyan Tree Park in Lahaina. 3rd pic is from a friend's porch in Wailuku Heights looking towards Haleakala.

Good Reads

reb • el [ré-buhl]
One who questions, resists,  refuses to obey, or rises against unjust or unreasonable control of an authority or tradition.

bud-duh [bü´-duh]
The awakened mind.

When I left home I only had enough room to pack 2 books into my backpack. "Rebel Buddha" by Dzogchen Ponlop, was the latest book i had purchased, and I had been saving it for quite a while. I knew the moment I bought my plane ticket that this was the time for it. I first opened it when I boarded my flight to Los Angeles ,and this evening I reached the last page. I thought I would share a few notes I marked that really stood out to me:

1. The desire for freedom-not just external freedom, but the state of being free-is transformative.

2. One of the greatest contributions we can make to our world is to learn how to live in harmony with each other.

3. The best approach is to sit without any expectations, without any hope or fear about the result.

4.  In many cases, kindness is all you can offer - and all you need to offer.

5. As long as we're here, we might as well learn from the child we once were.

6. You must respect the integrity of each individual and your own limitations.

7. If we can look at our own mind more positively, with a sense of appreciation, then there is no way not to appreciate the world.

8. Real ignorance is not knowing what you don't know.

9. Knowing clearly what you don't know is already a form of wisdom.

10. If we're ever to understand who we are as individuals and societies, then we need to see the interdependence of culture, identity, and meaning.

Acid Trip

This past week has been so intense with everything that was going on back home in Boston. Even though I'm 5000 miles across the globe I found myself running on East Coast time. I sat glued in front of my laptop waiting for updates from family and friends with the police scanner playing in the background. My state of mind had me trapped in doors on lock down. I felt as though I was still in my place back east. As I reviewed the events of the week I had a hard time digesting them. All these photos and videos came from places in Boston I knew so well. The glasses I'm wearing came from the Lens Crafters that was hit by one of the explosive devices. Throughout my undergraduate years at UMass Boston I worked on Newbury Street just around the corner from where that device went off. I can still vividly recall the sidewalks, restaurants and boutiques I would stroll by on my lunch breaks back then. I also know the streets of Cambridge and MIT where that police officer was shot and killed. I know the neighborhood in Watertown where they captured the suspect because I lived just a few minutes down the street from there back in 2009. Everything has been like some sort of bad...

Tragedy Strikes

This morning as I was on my way to Honolulu for a job interview I received word from back home about the tragedy that took place during the Boston Marathon. It put a monkey wrench into my entire day, and I was deeply saddened by these events. I am fortunate to say that none of my family or friends were injured. However, tonight my thoughts and prayers are with the city I called home for the past 11 years. I must also add that I had great difficulty in staying focused today. In times when my heart is heavy I turn to music. With that I'll leave you with this song. Eyes down, heart open. Stand strong Boston.

One Fine Day

Yesterday morning I turned 30 years old. It was the first time I was celebrating my birthday outside of Massachusetts. Around 11am my friends took me to one of my favorite beaches here on the north shore; Baldwin State Park. The waves here are always intense, and the shore break is not for the timid. Swimming in the ocean here is a real work out. Most days when I come here I'm usually left winded. After that it was time for lunch so we headed to the leeward side of the island to the historic town of Lahaina for lunch at Star Noodle. I've posted pics of everything we ordered. I'll keep descriptions short and simple. Everything was fantastic, and I will definitely look forward to going back again!

Tempura Shrimp with Garlic Aioli (Prawn)

Local Saimin (Spam, Noodles, Kamaboko, Green Onions)

Cranzu (Cranberry juice & Yuzu)

Vietnamese Crepe (Shrimp, Pork, Bean Sprouts, Cilantro, Lettuce)

Garlic Noodles w/ Mushrooms (Garlic, Dashi, Scallions, Mushrooms)

Local Green Salad (Mixed Greens, Shiso Dresssing)

Mango Pudding (Senbei, Lumpia Crisp)

After lunch we drove further up the leeward side of the island to Napili where we did some snorkeling. The ocean is much calmer on this side of the island, which makes it great to snorkel because you're not getting tossed around in the water like the north shore. As the afternoon came to a finish and I thought we would be heading home I was thrown a curveball. After leaving Napili we stopped in Lahaina once again. We parked the car and walked down Front Street. But, to where I had no idea. My friends found this quite hilarious. Then we finally reached our destination, Hula Cookies & Ice Cream. It was ice cream sandwich time, and I nearly lost my mind!

Ice Cream Sandwich (Kona Mudslide ice cream with Chocolate Coconut cookies)

Of course my day didn't end there. My friend Laura from back home had sent me a care package. I knew it was coming, but I had no idea what exactly was in store for me. So when we got home I jumped on Skype so that Laura could watch me open it. I was totally blown away! Laura made me these amazing coconut shortbread cookies (she is an excellent cook btw), folded me an origami four leaf clover for good luck, and got me some wonderful Japanese candy! She knows how much I love Japanese Kitkats, and she sent me one as you can see. It's dark chocolate, but in Japanese it literally says "chocolate for adults," which Laura and I got a good laugh at. She's coming out to Hawaii this summer so I hope I can return the favor to her for being so kind to me!

My day was filled with numerous calls, emails, and messages from so many people wishing me a happy birthday. I don't think I could have had a better day. So I would just like to thank everyone who took a moment to get in touch some way. It really meant a lot. Thank you.

Back In A Groove

Before I left Boston I had a little bedroom studio set-up. However, I hadn't really put much time into music as of late because I was feeling very uninspired. But, since I've been in Maui I've spent some time with Alex, and started making music again. This time around though its more about having fun, exploring, and experimenting. I stopped letting myself get stuck on all the little hangups when it comes to audio production. If I do find myself getting really hung up I can just let Alex jump in front of the screen and take over. Furthermore, leaving all my records behind has limited my creativity and expression here in a way. Through dialogue with Alex and Jo I have come to see I love music more than ever at this point in my life. By leaving my haven of vinyl back on the east coast I have created a free space to fill with new music, and now I feel like I have the chance to really explore different sounds.

One Month

As of yesterday April 5th, its been exactly one month since I left Massachusetts, and three weeks since I first landed here in Maui. Upon arrival I have spent most of my time sitting in front of my computer scanning through the potential job ads. When I'm not doing that I've been sweeping and cleaning the house, or trying to find some meaningful way to contribute or give back to my friends who have been all to gracious. Of course, I have also found myself sitting and looking into my own mind. Revisiting that space. That vast emptiness that exists somewhere. Then my friends come home from work and we come together and cook dinner. The kimchee fried rice above is from the other day. This coming together brings me a lot of joy. When we all sit down to eat there's always a moment of silence. That moment when we're all in unison appreciating the sensation of taste.

Spending the last 10 years in Boston means I'm no stranger to Chinatown and all the wonderful tastings it has to offer. One of those tasty treats I had on a number of occasions was called Cha Siu Bao. However, the ones pictured above are the Hawaiian version called manapua. The pork filling on the inside is Char Siu flavored. I can only describe it as a sweet barbecue-like flavoring. We ended up having Char Siu last night as well, but this time it was with chicken and some fried rice as you can see below.

I had another interview this morning for a position at one of the colleges on the Big Island. I think I did really well. However, I wonder if it would be the right fit for me. The Big Island is quite rural and very different from what I've been used to. But, then I wonder if it's what I really need. A place where I can be free from distractions, free from the hustle and bustle, free from...

A Little Way Different

This morning as I was pouring my coffee I thought about the slight nuances between the process here and back home. For example, back home I always add cream to my coffee (milk just doesn't cut it), but here because milk/cream has to be shipped in it costs quite a bit more. Last time I checked at the local Sack N Save a gallon of milk was about $7, and if you want organic you're dropping at least $10 minimum guaranteed. So my friends do something a little different here and add coconut milk to their coffee instead of using milk or cream. Even though its not as rich as cream its still much sweeter than using milk. While I was thinking of this I was reminded of this old reggae tune by Errol Dunkley called "A Little Way Different" that came out in 1978. Last year Scotch Bonnet Records released a remix of that song by Henry and Louis (feat. Pacey). I love both versions, but each has their own feel.

So in the spirit of doing things a little way different I started this blog. I purposely gave the link out to a lot people; family, friends, mentors, people who I respect and admire. In doing so I felt that I've forced myself to think and reflect more critically than if I were to simply write in a journal. At the same time I can stay connected with everyone. I can share my experiences and maybe they can take something from them. At the very least I hope everyone enjoyes the pictures. This public presentation of myself is something very different than I have ever done before. I was really uncomfortable about it at first, but after sharing this space with a few close friends the feedback I got was totally unexpected, and extremely positive. So here's to doing things different.

On a side note since I've got Mungo's HiFi on my brain (they founded Scotch Bonnet Records) I figured I should share this tune "Musically Mad" featuring Mr. Williamz. Its been in rotation on my speakers a lot lately. I love the mixdown and production on this tune, and Williamz voice just sits so well on top of everything. Their use of auditory space is beyond proper.

Food Gone But Not Forgotten

So as I was flipping through my photos when I realized I had forgotten about the lunch Rob & I had after body boarding last Tuesday. After riding those crazy waves we headed down the street to the Paia Fish Market to grab a bite. Man, this place serves up some of the freshest fish around, and I know from my first visit here there is only one thing you need to order; the Obama Burger. As you can see pictured above the Obama Burger is a beautiful piece of Ono covered in cajun spices and grilled to perfection. It's topped off with wasabi butter, cheese, tomatoes, and a little cabbage slaw. Order it with fries and it's a combination guaranteed to leave you satisfied. I just had to post this up for all the foodies back home because it's just too good not to let people know about it. Happy Monday.